From “I’m Lost” To Defining What Matters Now

We challenge the idea that mid-career professionals are lost and show how clarity, not confidence or effort, unlocks better decisions. We share questions that update your goals, filter noise, and turn risk into intentional choices.

• difference between lost and unclear
• why modern careers are non-linear and flatter
• how proximity distorts perspective
• updating definitions of success and trade-offs
• distinguishing boredom from misalignment and fear from caution
• questions to reveal what matters now
• clarity as a filter for options and energy

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Subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast, but also share it with someone who you think needs to come on this journey because we are going somewhere with this and we're building brick by brick

Chapters

• 0:08 From Lost To Unclear
• 1:44 Normalizing Mid-Career Uncertainty
• 3:41 Ability Isn’t Missing, Definition Is
• 5:04 Careers Aren’t Linear Anymore
• 6:46 Proximity Distorts Perspective
• 8:35 Clarity Over Confidence
• 9:50 Questions To Reclaim Focus
• 10:29 Reflection Now, Action Later

Transcript

Femi: 0:08

Welcome to the latest episode of the Career Labs podcast. This is episode 2 of this season and I'm gonna build on what we spoke about last week. Now, last time we talked about why you need a career dog. Why hard work is important. And I know you felt it before. You have that sense of you're not quite clear where your career is going. You're not quite clear of the next step. You've got something you're doing and you're kind of getting along, but you're starting to feel like big picture. What's my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing next? It's not just about the money because some people are actually earning money that they want, but they're starting to feel that sense of emptiness. And for most people, that realization brings relief, but also a new question. Because the relief comes from knowing that it's not hard work that is a problem. You work hard. But the new question that comes is if effort isn't the issue, what is it? And what I hear most often is that people say, I think I'm lost. But today I want to challenge that idea that you're lost gently, just gently, and bear with me while I do that. Because in my experience, most mid-career professionals are not lost at all. You are simply unclear. And that distinction matters a lot more than you think. Think of it this way: there's a difference between when you're traveling somewhere and you're completely lost and you can't find your way and you're lost in the woods and you don't know how to get to where you're going, and when you just are not quite sure if you want to go to place A or place B. Once you become clear where you want to go, you know how to get there. So, first let's normalize something. Feeling uncertain at this stage of your career is not necessarily a failure of confidence. It's often a consequence of having options, experience, and responsibility. So when you're early in your career, you very quickly, the direction you have to go is simple. You learn, you progress, you prove yourself. But later on, the questions start changing. It becomes impact versus income. Do I want to make an impact or do I want income? Do I want to grow or do I want stability? Do I want ambition or do I just want to be energized about what I'm doing? Do I want success, whatever success means to the world, or do I just want that satisfaction that you know what, I had a good day and I maximized who I am. So hesitation isn't a sign you've lost your way. It's a sign that decisions now require you to think more carefully about your next move. Remember what I said in the last episode? Just because you're responsible and you're more cautious doesn't mean that you lack ambition. It just means you have to think a lot clearly and you're not taking risks. So if you're cautious, legative, or slow to act, that's not a weakness, that's discernment. So let's be precise about language. Being lost usually means no footing, no transferable skills, no sense of value. And what I mean is that you just wake up in the morning and you just feel like the market is changing around you, the world is changing around. If you're in business, your customer needs are changing and you don't know what you're doing. If it means companies are now looking for a certain skill and you don't have that skill to give anymore, or it just means you don't have a clear sense of who you are. But that's not the case for most of you. Most of you are competent, experienced, you're still in demand, and you're still performing. So what's missing is not necessarily ability, it's definition. Because you're unclear about what matters now, not 10 years ago. It's what you want to be known for in this next phase of your life or your career, and it's which trade-offs you're willing or not willing to make. What are the things you're willing to go? You know what, not doing that anymore. I'll be doing this. It's in this next phase of my life, I want to be known as a leader who is empathetic and helps people maximize their career, not someone who just hits all his goals. Ten years ago, it was about nailing your goals and objectives, it was about making money. Now you just want to enjoy your life. There is nothing wrong wanting to enjoy your life, making some money while you're doing it, but enjoying your life. So when definition is missing, everything just kind of feels noisy. Every opportunity you come across, oh let me do that. I think I need to do that, I need to go into that. Or every choice kind of feels risky, like, oh my god, if I do that, I'm gonna lose all of this. And every decision just feels like a big deal. That's not being lost, that's just being overloaded without a clear filter about how to structure the steps you take in your life and career. So here's the thing I want you to hear. This confusion is not a personal shortcoming, it's not unique to you, and it's quite common in the phase of your career. Everyone's going through it. Because most career frameworks, when you start out, most career frameworks are all about linear progression. It just means you apply for a job, you get the job, you grow, you learn, you achieve your goals, and you move from analyst to lead analyst to manager to director, and so on and so forth. And it's very clear that you have to apply for a promotion and you get to the next step. And it's kind of your your route is mapped out. But modern careers, they don't work like that anymore, especially when you're in the middle of your career. So you're navigating organizations that are flatter. That once upon a time, you come in and you're gonna you are like seven, eight, ten people away from the managing director or the CEO. Now you're literally, you look at the org chart and you're like four people away from the CEO. That's because organizations are now flatter. It just means that everybody's it's more collaborative. It's more collaborative, engaging, it's more people move quick and nobody's waiting long for decisions to be made. It also is a world where you just can't say, I don't do that. That's not my job. You'll be seen very quickly as a solo person, a solo worker, and you don't play well with people. But also constant change. Companies are constantly just changing, changing because everybody's trying to survive. Where the economy is means that companies are trying to survive desperately and they will do anything and change regularly. But lastly, it's also about evolving definitions of success. Success is actually defined as the progressive realization of a worthwhile goal. The progressive realization, whatever your goal is, you're progressing to achieve it. That is the definition of success. But you then need to have a clear sense of for you what is that goal. And those goals can change, but as long as you're progressively trying to get there, that's fine. And yet, you're still using old questions to make these new decisions. So that's why things feel unclear. You're still thinking there's this clear career path, this clear, clear, predictable ladder, clear step you need to make. But the world around you is changing. And you are changing, the stage of your life which you are is changing as well. So the context has changed, the tools haven't changed. So one of the patterns I see again and again is this. When you're inside your own career, it's very hard to tell the difference between boredom and misalignment. What I mean is when you're in your own career, it's really hard to tell the difference between I'm just bored, or what I'm doing doesn't fit with my overall target or goal I'm trying to achieve. There's very quickly hard to tell the difference between when you're afraid of making your next move or when your wisdom and your wisdom of experience is telling you, yeah, think closely about this. There's a difference between being afraid and being cautious, but also there's a difference between loyalty, which is you being loyal to your goals, loyal to your clients, loyal to who you work for, and just being stuck. You can't move. And people mix them up a lot. So it's not because you lack insight, it's because the closer you are to whatever you're trying to do, you just lack perspective. And I put it this way: proximity distorts perspective. When you stare closely at something, you can't see the detail. You can't see the picture when you're standing within the frame. So clarity often emerges or comes when you take a step back. So it's not about oh, thinking harder and harder, it's about taking a step back. How many of you have had a problem you're trying to solve and you spend hours trying to solve it? But the moment you take go for a walk and you come back, it's just a bit clearer. Things make a bit more sense. Clarity doesn't emerge from thinking harder, but from stepping back, naming what's changed in your life, examining your assumptions, everything from a distance. And that distance sometimes it can be internal at first. It's just mentally stepping back. But it's often accelerated through dialogue, talking with someone, having someone you trust to discuss, unpack it, talk about your goals, talk about your objectives, you unpack it, and then you now start thinking about who you are and how you want to get to where you want to get to. So, what is the key insight for today? You don't need a new plan yet. You don't need to make a bold move yet. You don't need confidence. Your confidence, this thing you've been doing, you've been doing it for years, you know your way around the block. But what you need is clarity about what matters now, what matters right now. And when that becomes clearer, all of a sudden, decisions become simple. Options just narrow naturally and your energy comes back. So clarity doesn't remove risk, it helps you decide which risks are worth taking. It just helps you choose which risks are worth taking. So even instead of asking what should I do next right now when you're panicking because everything feels a bit unclear, sit with this question. What used to matter to me that no longer does? And what matters now that I've been ignoring. Take for example, some people. What mattered a long time ago was rising in their career and making much, much more money. And maybe for you, what matters now is being able to inspire people, coach people, making 30% less money than you do, but your time is your own. Maybe it was doing everything to get to the top of the organization, but now you just realize, you know what? I want to be able to wake up in the morning, do what I like doing, and then hang out with my family. Can you see the slight shift? I'm not asking you to do anything right now, just think. What matters to you now that didn't matter 10 years ago? Or put it this way, what used to matter to you and it no longer does, and what matters now that you've been ignoring. No action required, no urgency. Just be brutally honest with yourself. If this episode resonates with you, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not behind, you're not lost, you're at a point where clarity matters more than speed. At moments like this when the old answers no longer fit are usually when clearer thinking changes everything. Next week we'll go deeper and explore a more fundamental question: who are you becoming and how should that shape your career decisions? Thanks for listening to the Career Last Podcast. Take care, stay intentional, subscribe by clicking on and leave some positive feedback for us. Subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast, but also share it with someone who you think needs to come on this journey because we are going somewhere with this and we're building brick by brick. No urgent actions at the moment, just reflection about where we want to go. Okay? Stay intentional, stay focused, don't panic, and be a thinker. Always be thinking about where you are and where you want to go. Have a great week. Femi signing out.